He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
