The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
