how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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