we're blogging at a bar
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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