dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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