Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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