I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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