My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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