Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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