Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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