how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
