just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
