I just cut my nipple shaving
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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