I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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