: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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