I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
