Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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