well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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