my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
