based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
