Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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