oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
In America we eat man semen.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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