How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
