i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
