You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
