Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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