is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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