Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think im going to throw up on grandma
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
