Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
