I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
