and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
