let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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