so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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