His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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