Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he told me I talked like a deaf person
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just want to make out with him forever
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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