I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
