why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
