in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
