i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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