he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
