He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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