you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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