The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
