Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sorry about my life...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
