when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
