Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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