The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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