Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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