So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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