He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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