I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
