Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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