your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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