The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
