PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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